Relationships are Weird: Or at Least Mine is.

Hey, guys.

So I’m sitting in my messy undone room, at my little hovel of a desk, reading through my latest project.

My boyfriend is sitting a good 50 feet away, down the hall, in the living room on the floor in front of the T.V. playing obsessively with his newest game.

With the exception of a few shifts at work and the occasional sleep cycle, this is basically how we’ve been for the last four days.

The dog absolutely resents us for not giving her every ounce of attention, the cat just sits at her perch and judges us heavily due to the fact that we could possibly be lazier than she is, and the housework has piled up so immaculately that this morning I could no longer withstand it and naggingly protested to my beloved that it must get done immediately.

So, finally this morning we took a break from our separated worlds and came together to clean the apartment, wash up, and eat a lunch made from the last few days leftovers. Then promptly after, we returned yet again to our own realms of entertainment.

Occasionally I’ll take a break when I’m getting bored with reading and typing on my computer and bother him by poking at him, kissing him on the head, and overall distracting him from the colorful hum of the screen.

He’ll do the same. Over the last few days, I would go back and forth from my work and play my own favorite game series (Mass Effect) and as I would be in the middle of a mission, he would saunter into my private bubble of space and lightly kiss me on the forehead and whisper something about how much he loved me and then retreat back into his own universe once again.

It’s not so much that we want to be separated all the time, it’s just that we are that kind of couple that finds it necessary to escape all life’s problems when we find the time to do so and cocoon ourselves into the things we want to do that make us happy when most of the time we live in a reality that makes us miserable. However, we know the other is not too far away from our comfort and we knowingly acknowledge that when we realize it’s been too long since we last took a break and saw each other. I love him with all of my being, but I like that we have the kind of bond where we are conscious of our own selves and we have the ability to break off and do our own things without neglecting or suffocating the other in doing so.

We don’t force each other to do things we don’t want to do, but we do encourage each other to do the things we think are necessary. Like, this mini-vacation we are having within our home.

We each do our own things and we love doing them, but we love each other much more and we don’t really need to prove that.

Or we’re just two very extreme nerds in love who enjoy the isolation of a world inside a computer screen. In which case, that’s just fine by me. -Dee

 

 

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Being Sick is the Worst.

Hey, so I’m in bed, with a fever. The only time I’m not there is when I’m running to the bathroom.

I can’t go to work, and I’m broke.

This is awful.

Sickness creeps up on all of us when we least expect it and it’s never pretty. It reminds us that we’re only human and we need to slow down every now and again to revamp ourselves while our immune system is amidst a bloody battle against bacteria and we’re simply the vessels of that impending battle that eventually we will win.

It’s all pretty fascinating when you really start to think of it… maybe I’m just rambling and this is just the fever talking, maybe I just need more tea to shut myself up. This is not the most revolutionary idea I’ve ever had to write about. Maybe I should just go to sleep.

But damn, I really wish I could get up and go to work. I really do need that payoff. Maybe tomorrow. If my immune system isn’t too wounded by some drastic battle scars. -Dee

Most Times, Writers have Nothing to Say

As a writer, I feel I’m always pressured by those around me to write the next biggest literary masterpiece. 

That’s impossible, I’m not that great.

In fact, most artists think that they and their work are complete crap. It’s not ready for the public eye to behold, it isn’t ready, it’s not finished, I’m not good enough, it needs to be re-written… all those excuses and more.

I’ll be honest, I have a constant flow of ideas running through my mind day after day; good ideas for poetry or my next novel, blog post, etc. But most of those ideas get lost or forgotten in my daily routine. Not because I don’t want to write or I don’t think those ideas are up to par, but simply because I’m busy doing other things.

It would be more than ideal to sit and write down every idea I’ve ever had for hours and actually be productive towards my own dreams and goals in life, but that’s not very realistic. 

So it’s true, most times writers have nothing to say or to write, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t constantly thinking of what we’re going to say next. Be patient, our times will come. -Dee.

Ninja Snacking: Girls are the Masters

It’s almost midnight.

The boyfriend is out cold after his long-lasting video game mission, the kids (the cat and the dog) are both asleep (well, lying down as if they were about to sleep, and I’m wide awake.

Like I’m Supernatural-is-on-Netflix-and-it’s-only-the-5th-season awake. That’s really awake and I’ve been dieting. I only ate a chicken breast, peas, and plain white rice for dinner and I’m starving. So, I creep sneakily from my bed and completely raid the kitchen.

We got the salty, the sweet, the savory, and all that’s in between.

And not a soul has been awakened by my savage hunt to witness it.

So it’s like it never even happened.

It’s a weakness all girls have. I mean, yes we put on the charade that we eat like birds in public and we always use a napkin and blah blah blah. Yeah, that’s not how we really eat.

Like, we EAT.

On a good night I’m talking large quantities of peanut butter stuffed between two bakery fresh soft chocolate chip cookies dipped in Nutella, rinse then repeat.

 

Ooo, that actually sounds amazing…

My point is, girls may put off a front, but if you ever fall asleep before she does, make sure you check the kitchen trash can in the morning and tell me I’m not making this up.

We’re savage beasts and we’re always hungry. -Dee

Crying for The Innocent

Hey, guys.

So, yesterday I was scrolling through my news feed, earlier I had been watching the news, I even skimmed through the morning paper that’s usually on the bar countertop at my job.

I kept seeing the same stories. You know which ones I’m talking about.

Everyone is outraged, upset, angry.

Except for my boyfriend, he didn’t know of all the new tragedies that had taken place. So I showed him the video clips, of men getting shot point-blank in the chest, of one’s child being a witness to her father’s murder, a massive crowd running from snipers that were out to shoot good policemen just doing their jobs. People left and right are in arguments all over the internet talking about this blind violence and racism that seems to keep coming in waves every week…

I realized then how much it affected me when I started to cry. My boyfriend noticed this and held me, trying to calm me down and he asked why I was crying.

I told him, I was scared for the future of our country. It has turned into a hateful and violent place. I told him I was scared for us, for our family, friends… I was scared for the children we’d have someday. I was scared they would become hateful or one of the hated. I told him I was also crying for all the innocent people who did not deserve to die in Orlando, Minnesota, Dallas, Chicago, and Louisiana.

I was crying for them and for the victims to come because now I know better. I know it won’t stop and it never will. I was crying because I feel helpless and I didn’t know what else I could do, but cry. -Dee

90’s Kids Love Pokemon, But I Love Sleep


I’m tired, let me explain why.
Last night, I was about to go to sleep, but first I wanted to check my Facebook, as I often do.

As I was scrolling, I noticed a number (let’s say in the 100-150 range) of my friends posting about the newly released Pokemon Go app. There were pictures, exclamations, and overall just excitement about this new release.

So I turn to my boyfriend and I start reading off some of the feedback from the app he hadn’t heard about.

This was the biggest mistake I could have made.

It was one in the morning, and we both had work in the morning. He had to be up at 5.

I looked at him like he was insane as he got dressed and grabbed the dog’s leash. I had no choice but to go with him or else he would be outside all night.

So for 45 minutes, by boyfriend was catching Pokemon. I was cranky. The dog was indifferent.

I do however appreciate this new spin in something so popular from our childhood. I don’t remember knowing anyone who didn’t have an exquisite collection of Pokemon playing cards or had one of the games on their Gameboy. It really is a cool new app that brings back the memories in a new interactive way…

…but at the time, I just wanted to sleep. I learned the hard way that Pokemon is best after my morning coffee. -Dee

Being Clumsy Can Kill You

Hey again.

So I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned in the past that, I’m not the most “coordinated” person in the world.

I’m telling you, every week brings a new injury.

I get bruised, scratched, burned, smacked, stubbed, and more day after day.

To add insult to injury (in a literal way) I have the skin of a Parian German doll. You see the damage instantly.

Just this past week I almost got a black eye (from the previous volleyball tournament I wrote about), almost lost a toenail to the sliding glass door of my closet, I got a huge black bruise on my butt, hands, and jaw from falling in the kitchen at work, I’ve gotten multiple bruises from pinching wars I get into with my boyfriend… and just now I got head butted hard in the chin by my husky because I tried picking her up in a way she didn’t agree with.

Yes, it is true: the ones we love most can also hurt us the most.

My chin is currently throbbing proof of that.

So, for all my fellow clumsies… be safe, carry compresses (cold & hot) and be super careful. You never know what could be the final blow. -Dee