Screw Valentine’s Day: Pun Intended

Hey, guys.

It’s the worst fucking day of the year.

Valentine’s Day.

They should call it, “Disappointment Day” or “That Day in The Middle of Tax Season” or “Gain Ten Pounds Eating Shitty Chocolate Then Getting Drunk Off Your Ass and Watching {INSERT SHITTY ROMANCE MOVIE HERE} Day.”

Because any of those titles are more fitting than fucking Valentine’s Day.

I guarantee you NOBODY even knows who Saint Valentine was.

Do you? Seriously. Comment below if you do. Bonus points if you know what the fuck he has to do with Hallmark/Whitman’s/Teddy Bears.

Cause I sure don’t.

Look. I’m not one of those sour chicks that hates the day because some fuckwad boy back in middle school didn’t draw me a heart or give me a card on the day we had to come in and exchange with the whole rest of the class.

I’m the girl who doesn’t understand the hype. Why do we need to pin human affection on one fucking day? Who needs a forty pound teddy bear to validate their relationship? Who needs to be let down because your S.O. couldn’t afford that diamond bracelet you really wanted on THIS. SPECIFIC. DAY?

What is with the pressure, people?

Yes, I admit… it would be nice, for once, to be surprised and swept off my feet with something incredibly sweet and unexpected. But Valentine’s Day? Where’s the romance in that? Everyone KNOWS you’re gonna go do something romantic with the person you love/like. There’s no surprise factor. No spontaneity. It’s mostly just a mass disappointment for those expecting that one big gesture and going through the whole day, never to receive it.

I’m not sour on the concept. I’m sour on the pressure it puts on everyone. I’m sour on the way it makes lonely people feel. I’m sour on the way it makes taken people feel when they didn’t get what they wanted. I’ve been all of those people at some point, on this day.

That is why I hate this day and why it shouldn’t really matter. One day cannot define your love life, that takes many days, many gestures, and way less pressure.

If you’re like me, fuck it. Be your own Valentine. Treat yourself. Do what you would do for the only love in your life that matters. Yourself. That’s what the day should be called, “Love Yourself Day.”

Although, that should be an everyday thing too. Right? -Dee


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