Hate: A Waste of Time

Hey, guys.

I’m going to write today about something we humans have been cursed with.

Hate.

You may already know, that hate is not born with us.

It is taught.

It is taught by the ignorance of people who are told they should be scared; scared of things that most times do not exist.

It starts from a young age, when we are most susceptible to learn from those around us what we should hate and what we should not.

At that time, our minds are vulnerable and cannot discern what is right or wrong. We only know what we are told by our guardians.

As we grow into adults, it is difficult to relearn our values, change our old habits, and escape those who have taught us falsely.

This is why we will never truly be rid of hate.

We will never know peace.

Those who learn to hate grow to be hateful and choose a life surrounded by hate and fear and greed. I’ve seen people talk of harming others, not even knowing the people whom they are threatening. They don’t stop to think that the people they are taught to hate are actually living, breathing beings with lives of their own. They have families, and feelings, and their own problems.

The person who hates is more of a danger to anyone in this world, they have become the monster they were told to fear most.

So. If you do happen to read this blog, and all the others coming out now following recent events, please take this into consideration.

Stop wasting your life hating others, and simply live.

Stop looking at people in groups.

Start looking at the individuals and ask yourself, how could that person possibly affect my life in any way?

And ask, how hatred, could bring theirs to an end.

-Dee

I Love Cursing: So Don’t F***ing Judge Me

Hey, guys.

I wanted to address something.

If you are a regular to my blog, you know one thing for certain.

I fucking LOVE to curse.

It’s a habit.

I can’t shake it, especially when I’m talking or writing in my day-to-day lifestyle.

It gives my words more fluidity, more depth. It feels right.

I feel like cursing has become a lot more mainstream than it was when I was little.

Like, I wasn’t allowed to say the word “suck” without my parents bringing life to a full on halt and beating my little butt till it was beet red.

Nowadays I can get called a bitch by some four-year-old at my job and the parents could give two shits about it.

Like.

I don’t know.

And it’s not just me, there are so many notorious writers throughout history that have my same filthy gutter mouth.

I’m not alone here.

And I get told all the time by friends that read my posts that I should tone it down.

And yes, I do use this blog site as a reference to any hiring manager when asked for a ‘portfolio.’

And I know it’s not exactly “professional.”

But yah know what? Fuck it. This is me, this is who I am, and this is how I express myself.

If I was asked to write a more professional piece then, of course, I am more than capable to do so.

But this blog is my place to stretch and keep my writing and thoughts in tip top shape, and it just so happens that most of my thoughts are rated PG-13 and up… most of the time WAY up.

I will not censor myself for the sake of my art, and if I did, it wouldn’t be any good.

And that is why I curse.

Plus, I definitely read somewhere that people who curse a lot are scientifically proven to be more intelligent.

So for every ‘fuck,’ ‘shit,’ or what have you that you come across on my blog, just makes me more of a fucking genius. -Dee

Toxicity is Real

Hey, guys.

So I’ve been seeing this hot new trend in our mainstream society.

The ability to cut the toxic influences out of your life.

As a fairly new adult, this has been one of the things I’ve learned to do quite well.

As a teenager, you kind of had no control over who you could or couldn’t cut from your life.

I mean, if I went to school and my toxic ex-best friend was in my fourth-period economics class… it would be pretty damn hard to cut her out COMPLETELY.

But, as an adult, I feel like that’s one of the few things that we can take control of.

Sure the economy of the entire world is going to shit and we’re all broke and painting a false sense of happiness all around us… but sure, cutting toxic people from your life is the only thing that can really make you feel like you have a grasp on things.

I’m all for this trend of self-help. I say go for it.

But as I said to a friend just recently in regards to making yourself happy, there are some things in life you just can’t cut out.

Whether it be people or a job or what have you, some things aren’t meant to be cut away when the going gets tough.

Make yourself happy, sure. Without a doubt.

But sometimes the only way you can be happy is to actually fix some things in your life, before throwing them away.

Because once it’s gone, sometimes it’s gone for good.

And you’ll be more miserable than before because you didn’t put in every last effort to fix it.

I don’t know if any of that made any sense, but. My point is this:

Learn how to make yourself happy, but don’t do it to the point of isolation or loneliness.

Because if you cut too much from your life, all that will be left is you. And that gets pretty quiet after a while. -Dee

I’m a Living Ghost

Hey, guys.

So, if you know me, you know my life.

I’ve literally been stuck in this “quarter life rut” (aka quarter life crisis) for a few years now.

You know how it goes.

I’ve graduated college with a degree everyone says was a mistake to get, even though it made me happy getting it.

I’m still at the job I worked at while attending college.

That job does not in any way qualify me for any of the jobs I think I can get with my B.A. in English studies and Writing.

So, as you can guess, my life gets pretty repetitive.

I sleep, I wake up. Go to work. Make money. Come home. Walk dog. Apply for jobs. Sleep. Wake up. Go to work. Spend time with friends and boyfriend. Walk dog. Apply for jobs.

Sleep.

Wake up.

Work.

Sleep.

Wake up.

Apply for jobs.

Work.

Sleep.

Wake up.

Read through the rejection emails.

Work.

Sleep.

Wake up.

You get the idea. It kinda just keeps going on like that.

And, I know I have to pay my dues as a young adult, I have no problem with that. Hard work is nothing to be ashamed of. But.

I keep seeing people around me moving, constantly. Moving in their lives, bettering it, expanding, growing.

And I’m still here. Still stuck in the same routine, and I don’t know how to get out.

At times, I do think that maybe I’m a ghost of my former self or I’m stuck in some dream-like limbo where it’s the premise of Ground Hog Day and I just keep going through the same motions each and every day until one day it gets to me so much that I just have to scream at the world with every inch of breath I hold in my lungs until it all just shifts.

I don’t know, sometimes I think the repetition will drive me insane, and I’m truly scared for the day that comes. I hope it never does.

I just think, that if life grants us so many lessons and gives us so much shit… shouldn’t we at least be able to branch out from it? I feel like so many people have accepted the mediocrity of their mundane lives with no intention of breaking free.

Who, as a child, wishes to be a banker when they grow up?

A sales associate?

A restaurant manager?

I don’t know. Maybe it’s pretentious of me to say that, but. I’ve always known I wanted to become a writer. Ever since I was little.

And I know it’s hard, people tell me all the time that it’s a dying art.

But is it really? I think it’s more relevant than ever before. It’s actually evolving.

The point is: I’m not going to give up.

I will get depressed at times by all of the rejection emails, yes, and I will continue to curse my life and my low-income/high-volume job. But I will continue to write and I will always make myself known until the right opportunity comes along.

I refuse to settle. It’s simply not who I am.

I will not be a ghost, not for much longer. -Dee