Love & War

Hey, guys.

Can I tell you something?

I am so mad at humanity.

Seriously.

Nowadays, we take so much for granted. We are terrible to one another, for the most minuscule and insignificant reasons.

I won’t get into every reason I’m mad [i.e. false patriotism, the fact that racism still exists, us murdering the planet but saying it’s all a hoax, our violation of ALL 7 deadly sins on a daily basis while we still maintain a false practice of our religions (mainly Christianity), our entire government. Like. All of it. The fact that I can’t legally own a tiger as a pet… etc.]

HOWEVER, all of those reasons pushed wayyy aside… my main qualm with humans is basic.

How we ABUSE each other, emotionally.

I’m a sentimental old soul. I cry during romance movies. I say ‘aw’ when old people kiss or hold hands. I swoon when I see a young family just starting out. I’m genuinely happy when I see my friends getting engaged (even though there is a spark of jealousy too, as I am still not).

My thing is. With all of the world’s problems, why can’t we just love one another?

As couples, yes. Romance in this time period NEEDS a reboot. Tinder needs to be cut off. These posts about ‘her being a gold digger’ and ‘yo man can’t be faithful,’ fuckboys and THOTS… it’s even in every single song being released and rated top of the charts worldwide.

I mean, have you heard the new Katy Perry? She’s offering herself up as a main course meal while half-naked with a dash of sequence. Where the hell is the romance in that?

Seriously. Pick a fucking flower. Wear a nice elegant dress. Go dancing. Take a walk. A quick kiss on the cheek if it’s the first date. Whatever you feel comfortable with if it’s more serious. Is it really so hard? Really?

And in general, really.

Love others as fellow people, whether they be neighbors, friends… complete strangers. Erase all barriers or preconceived bigotry. We live in a time of expression and evolution. People are not afraid to show their true forms, so why congratulate their bravery with hatred? We as a species have forgotten what a little love and compassion can do, how far it can get you.

I’m so tired of seeing hatred posted everywhere we look. Seriously. It’s everywhere.

Enough.

If you have the capability to show love directly, even if it’s just one person in your life, do it. Or you’ll regret it later.

Then try branching out and see what happens. Make this the new trend. If we start now, maybe the world in twenty or so years won’t be so bad.

Just a thought. -Dee

Memories Make Us Forgetful

Hey, guys.

So, today I’ve been thinking a lot about kids.

And for once, it has nothing to do with wanting them or not wanting them.

My biological clock is completely OUT of the picture on this one, though the problems that surround it are still not completely absent from my daily thoughts; as those are the thoughts that perplex me quite often.

No. Today I was thinking of kids and their memories. I want to conduct an experiment here, so comment below if you want.

Gather up all of your clearest memories of who you were or what you wanted before you hit age… 10, let’s say. How many are there? Who were you? What were you like? Do you remember every detail of yourself?

It’s weird, right? You can’t. Not completely, anyway. Not like the memories we had during high school or middle school, even.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this all day and wondering… what if we lost who we used to be in place of who we’ve become? Did we become someone our child selves would have hated? Or would we be our own hero? What made us change so drastically? And, if we had a recollection of all our memories, with complete clarity, would we be able to pinpoint the moment or the influence that so drastically rocked us at our core?

This has been bothering me all day, because I cannot for the life of me, remember who I was… as a child. I remember things like, what toys I played with and the color of my room… but what made me want that toy? Why did I like that color? What was I thinking about back then? And most importantly… what made us forget?

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just babbling about nothing, but I felt the thought was drastic and important enough to try to get it down into feasible words and utterings.

I don’t know.

I just feel like lately, I’ve been having an inner battle with myself and I think I want to try to backtrack to the exact point that happened… what made me dislike myself? I used to be so content and carefree… when did that all change?

When, did I change? -Dee

Screw Valentine’s Day: Pun Intended

Hey, guys.

It’s the worst fucking day of the year.

Valentine’s Day.

They should call it, “Disappointment Day” or “That Day in The Middle of Tax Season” or “Gain Ten Pounds Eating Shitty Chocolate Then Getting Drunk Off Your Ass and Watching {INSERT SHITTY ROMANCE MOVIE HERE} Day.”

Because any of those titles are more fitting than fucking Valentine’s Day.

I guarantee you NOBODY even knows who Saint Valentine was.

Do you? Seriously. Comment below if you do. Bonus points if you know what the fuck he has to do with Hallmark/Whitman’s/Teddy Bears.

Cause I sure don’t.

Look. I’m not one of those sour chicks that hates the day because some fuckwad boy back in middle school didn’t draw me a heart or give me a card on the day we had to come in and exchange with the whole rest of the class.

I’m the girl who doesn’t understand the hype. Why do we need to pin human affection on one fucking day? Who needs a forty pound teddy bear to validate their relationship? Who needs to be let down because your S.O. couldn’t afford that diamond bracelet you really wanted on THIS. SPECIFIC. DAY?

What is with the pressure, people?

Yes, I admit… it would be nice, for once, to be surprised and swept off my feet with something incredibly sweet and unexpected. But Valentine’s Day? Where’s the romance in that? Everyone KNOWS you’re gonna go do something romantic with the person you love/like. There’s no surprise factor. No spontaneity. It’s mostly just a mass disappointment for those expecting that one big gesture and going through the whole day, never to receive it.

I’m not sour on the concept. I’m sour on the pressure it puts on everyone. I’m sour on the way it makes lonely people feel. I’m sour on the way it makes taken people feel when they didn’t get what they wanted. I’ve been all of those people at some point, on this day.

That is why I hate this day and why it shouldn’t really matter. One day cannot define your love life, that takes many days, many gestures, and way less pressure.

If you’re like me, fuck it. Be your own Valentine. Treat yourself. Do what you would do for the only love in your life that matters. Yourself. That’s what the day should be called, “Love Yourself Day.”

Although, that should be an everyday thing too. Right? -Dee

Finding Happiness

Hey, guys.

So lately, Depression, my unwanted mistress, has been looming around me and doesn’t seem to get the hint that I no longer want her icy cold embrace. If you too suffer from her suffocation, you know how it goes.

I’ve been battling to get out of bed, neglecting my responsibilities, ignoring phone calls, and watching an INSANE amount of Netflix.

It’s been an ongoing war within me for quite some time, we’re talking years. Decades.

This year has been especially hard, even though we’re only two months into it.

My bills have been multiplying, yet despite my efforts, my income has been the same. (I’m lying, it’s gotten lower.)

The job hunt continues, with not much promise ahead. Despite my degree(s) and various bullet-pointed treasures scattered throughout my resume.

I’m living alone now, as my S.O. cannot afford to live with me anymore. That has also taken its toll on our overall relationship, and talks of breaking up have surfaced, more than once. As of now, we’re still together. So. There’s your silver lining.

He also took the dog. So the nights have been quiet and much less hairy… but that has only made my heart heavier and my tears more frequent.

Loneliness is at a high point, although I have an amazing group of friends who’ve tried their best to lift my spirits. They’ve gotten me out of the house when I needed it most, talked me down from the darkest corners of my mind, and assured me that things will work out, somehow.

Things… are still not great. I won’t lie. It’s been repetitive and not very promising.

However, you can’t force life. You can only keep going. If you need a day in bed, take it. But the following day you owe it to yourself to get up and accomplish at least two things, no matter how small they may be. Two things accomplished, is all you need. It’s more than you did yesterday and that’s enough. Keep adding two things a day to your list and soon, things will start getting better. They’ll make the future seem less bleak. It takes two to make things go right, or so the song says.

Just, keep that in mind. And tell Depression to fuck off. -Dee

Love and Magic

Hey, guys.

So let me get something off my chest.

These things listed as the title topic of this post? Yeah. They’re real.

Let me explain why.

I am a twenty-four-year-old woman, as much as I hate to admit it. I am constantly told to grow up, act my age, think about my future. As much as I try to do these things to ensure the chance of my overall survival in this harsh world, I cannot deny the sense of childlike wonder and intrigue that still lives within me.

I’ll give you an example. We’ve all had those life moments that will forever be permanently embedded in our minds, like our first kiss with our first love, the book you read that made you cry… the feeling you get when you eat your favorite chocolate bar! It’s so great, right?

These are all signs that magic and love both exist and should be nourished and kept alive no matter how badly the world tries to take them away from you.

Sorry if that felt kind of ranty, but it’s a thought I had and I felt it needed to be put out there.

Keep dreaming guys, there’s more than enough room for practicality AND whimsy. Remember that. -Dee

On This Election…

Hey, guys.

So, I’m not going to write an article based on my political beliefs, those are strictly my own personal thoughts and I expect others to keep theirs to themselves as well.

No. This is about something that happened to me at work the other day and it has since been on my mind.

I was in the middle of my shift, trying to catch up on my side work when I noticed these women waving me down. They weren’t my customers but I was more than happy to accommodate them.

So I go over.

They ask me to grab something for them so I run to the back of the house and bring it back to them in a more than pleasant manner. As I’m about to leave, one of the women stops me.

“Are you voting?”

I tell her that, yes, of course I am. It would be irresponsible of me not to vote.

“Who are you voting for?”

Now, this is where things changed. I told her my honest opinion, that I simply don’t feel that either candidate is worthy of my vote, so I will most likely write in my choice or vote third-party.

“OH NO,” The woman says, “You HAVE TO vote for Trump.”

With that I graciously walked away, wishing to go no further in this discussion.

I was furious, and not because of her choice in candidate.

I was furious because she saw me, a young twenty-something and had the nerve to TELL ME who I should vote for. She saw me and assumed I would take her advice because I have absolutely no capacity as a grown woman to know any better about who would be best suited in such a position of power.

Let me tell you something. Young people are not morons.

We are AWARE of what is happening in this world.

We are CAPABLE of forming our own opinions.

We KNOW what our choices are.

So before you work up the nerve to tell one of us what we should do again, remember that it was your generation that caused all of the economic downfall you can’t seem to escape. It was your generation that raised us, these moronic children, that you seem to think you can control.

But guess what? This is our future, our choice, and you have no right to opinionate yourself, not when you’ve already left us in a world of ruin.

So, my opinion on this election: vote for who you think can better your future, don’t leave it in the hands of those who have failed in the past.

This is our time, young people. Let’s show them that we mean business. -Dee

Mother of Dragons, I’m Getting Old.

Hey, guys.

So, Halloween has just ended which means another birthday has passed for me.

I am now 24 years old.

Adulthood is imminent and the only way to celebrate was by heavily drinking while dressed as a Game of Thrones character.

It was a pretty fun weekend, I have to admit.

My little clan of nerdling friends really went all out to spoil me with all the best gifts, that only I could fully love and appreciate.

[mostly Mass Effect/poop/Star Wars/Walking Dead/Steven U related things to be exact.]

My boyfriend, who also had a birthday this passing weekend, was my Jon Snow-esque knight in shining silver sequence. He made sure that after our [drinking] party I was safely tucked away in bed with an emergency garbage can by my side. I’m not the best partier, I must admit. This is why video games and books are my saving grace, they don’t judge.

Saturday, the family rounded me up for another party in full costume, once again. I stuck to a night of sobering up by eating all the best party food they had to offer… and then it all ended.

It was back to reality for little old me, I had to get back to the grueling job hunt, make sure I had enough money to get through the week, and of course eat the remnants of my birthday cake…

topped with all of the leftover Halloween candy I had.

Adulthood sucks and I get it now, the fun reminder that comes around once every year doesn’t make it any easier to pull through it all. But the fun times can be worthwhile as they are happening. I find it’s best to live in the moment every now and again because worrying about the future too much will distract you from living life to its fullest potential.

Also, vodka and chocolate help more than they hurt, especially for the REALLY hard times. So go all out, I won’t judge. -Dee